🔗 Share this article

On occasion, Jay Spring believes he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his grandiose moments frequently escalate into “highly unrealistic”, he admits. You feel invincible and you think, ‘People will see that I stand above others … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are usually succeeded by a “crash”, during which he feels sensitive and embarrassed about his conduct, leaving him particularly vulnerable to criticism from those around him. He came to wonder he might have this personality condition after investigating his behaviors through digital sources – and subsequently confirmed by a specialist. Yet, he doubts he would have accepted the diagnosis without having independently formed that realization on his own. When someone suggests to somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – especially if they harbor beliefs of dominance. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they’ve built up. And in that mindset, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding The Condition

While people have been called narcissists for over 100 years, it’s not always clear what the term implies the term. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” explains an expert in narcissism, adding the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he suggests many people conceal it, due to widespread prejudice linked to the illness. A narcissist will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to enhance their social status through things like seeking admiration,” the professor clarifies. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Gender Differences in The Disorder

Although up to 75% of people identified as having the condition are men, research points out this statistic does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that female narcissism is typically appears in the less obvious variety, which is often overlooked. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be somewhat tolerated, similar to everything in society,” explains a 23-year-old who discusses her dual diagnosis on social media. It is not uncommon, the two disorders appear together.

Personal Struggles

“I really struggle with handling criticism and not being accepted,” she explains, whenever it’s suggested that the problem is me, I tend to switch to defence mode or I withdraw entirely.” Even with this behavior – which is often called “narcissistic injury”, she has been attempting to address it and take advice from her close relationships, as she doesn’t want to slip into the negative conduct of her previous life. I used to be manipulative to my partners during adolescence,” she admits. With professional help, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she explains she and her current boyfriend “operate with an understanding where I told him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, if my words are controlling, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood primarily in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have supportive figures in her youth. It’s been a process of understanding over the years what is and is not appropriate to say when arguing because I lacked that guidance in my formative years,” she comments. Every insult was fair game when my household were insulting me in my early years.”

Underlying Factors of Narcissistic Traits

Personality disorders tend to be linked to difficulties as a child. “There is a genetic component,” says a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “connected with that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he continues, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting particular demands. They then “rely on those identical strategies as adults”.

Like several of the NPD-diagnosed people, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The individual shares when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve academic success and professional advancement, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “acceptable.

As he grew older, none of his relationships lasted. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he states. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He didn’t think experiencing genuine affection, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, similar to his experience, finds it hard to manage emotional regulation. She is “really understanding of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he says – it was surprisingly, she who first suspected he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

After a visit to his general practitioner, John was referred to a mental health professional for an assessment and was given the NPD label. He has been recommended for psychological counseling via government-funded care (a long period of therapy is the main intervention that has been shown to help NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the waiting list for a year and a half: It was indicated it is likely to occur in a few months.”

Disclosure was limited to a small circle about his NPD diagnosis, because “negative perceptions are widespread that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, in his own mind, he has embraced the diagnosis. This understanding allows me to gain insight into my behavior, which is always a good thing,” he comments. Each individual have acknowledged their condition and are seeking help for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the diagnosis. But the existence of online advocates and the development of digital groups suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number